Uhm… I’m not sure ‘how’ to approach Critiquing and/or Reviewing this…
I don’t think that I could be fair, because of my emotional investment as an 80’s-kid-turned-adult with expectations somewhere above the sky and a realization that was just below the surface level of mud.
The best way that I can approach this, I guess, is to say that the explosions were nice, the action was good, the concept was… er… sweet, but the opportunities loss within it overshadowed all of its achievements.
This is the hurt that so many have felt which allowed their rage to become the common voice.
Michael Bay said, in a nice way, ‘Let the haters HATE…’ and one thing he’s proven is that the checks cash and History records the results… not the whining; whether or not I agree with this, doesn’t matter. It is what it is.
Now on to my analysis:
Let me see here, this was a Story delivered by, what we call, ‘multi-streamed’ plots ideas.
– Hero alien robots now considered terrorist insurgents that need to be destroyed
– Space-faring, mercenary, bounty-hunter seeking to collect his bounty of leader alien robot (Optimus Prime)
– Government exploit of alien technology to ‘weaponize’ for more wars with other humans… especially since they were in the process of killing the remaining alien robots
– A buffed-Texan, loser, inventor, father trying to accept a pedophile, carrying a legal-by-law ‘Romeo-and-Juliet’ business card that states that he can screw his daughter, if she gives consent and is in love with him… uhm, ‘yea’… go figure…
The themes of these plots, you ask?
– The government hates all things it can’t control and doesn’t understand. In fact, it hates them to DEATH!
– “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”
– “Why ask for what your friend has when I can kill him and take it.”
– Good looking pedophiles are people too; especially when they are unemployed with a cool car and look like every other hero character, in every other high-action movie!
What was the niche in this movie? The amount of destruction! BOOM, I say! BOOM, it is!
The Vision the Director/Creator had for this movie? Destruction!! BOOM-BOOM, he said! BOOM-BOOM, it was!!
This was a world-scale movie which took the viewer from America to China and blew up all kinds of things along the way… which was also kind of cool.
We learned very little to nothing about the gun-head bounty hunter and even less as to how and why the President never asked questions about the slaughtering of GIGANTIC autobots that were viewed as heroes after they saved the Earth. The explosions were cool, though.
Things got even more crazy, when the multi-millionaire tycoon guy who benefitted from the dead hero robots, became responsible for the re-creation of the EVIL leader, bad-guy, robot (Galvatron)… uhm… who destroyed hundreds-of-millions-of-dollars’ worth of property and killed thousands of people in the last few movies.
Wait… did I mentioned that Galvatron has another destructive highway scene with Optimus Prime and did more destruction along with the killing of the scientists around him when he broke free?
Wait… wait… did I mentioned, the uber-rich tycoon bad guy became a funny, comedy-relief hero at the end which resulted in the classic ‘hug-of-unspoken’ forgiveness and acceptance by our hero?!? This is supposed to make the audience love him at the end… and forget about his ‘Crimes Against Humanity’.
I didn’t mention this earlier..?
GOLLY, I’m SORRY… I’ll make up for it now…
THAT WAS F@CK!N6 STOOPID!!!
There were SO many missed opportunities here I dare not tackle them all otherwise it would lead to a mental breakdown.
First Michael Bay got in trouble with those RACIST urban, stereotypical, rapper-bots in the other Transformer… then in this one, he got smart…
NO BLACKS… He might as well held up a, ‘No Colored Allowed’ sign and kept moving. There might have been a few glimpses of them in the background of destruction, but nah, no major roles. He stayed safe on this one.
Instead, a birdie whispered in his ear and said, ‘Hey, we’re going to end up in China. Why don’t I include a Samurai robot?’
Uhm… Samurai are Japanese. I ask that someone… or better yet, anyone go to Michael Bay and hold a conversation with him about the history and relationships between China and Japan. Here’s a hint… all Asians aren’t the same. Not cool.
The pedophile thing and the father forced to accept it? This is a judgment call for the viewer, but the truth was… it had NO RELEVANCE to the movie!! It was not needed and it added NOTHING to the plot or characters, other than disgust. What message does this send to the demographics that have turned out to view this movie?!?
What a BIG-FAT LOSS of an opportunity to introduce characters with a story that mattered OR a chance to develop the other autobots who felt like absolute cannon-fodder during the action.
We had to look them up AFTER the end of this, dang-near 3hr movie, to discover who they were. This leads us to…
The graphics were BEAUTIFUL and the explosions AWESOME!! The action was intense and the cinematography was classic ‘Michael Bay’.
Because the other components of the movie were weaker, the length of the movie was truly felt. This did not go over very well with the audience or the Reviewers. This film took a MAJOR hit in this area. The Character Development component of this story DESTROYED the reviews on it!!
The humans appeared to be either useless, or a little more than a forced burden upon the audience. Any of them could have been replaced with any other actor only to result in the same-old feelings. The characters were SO cliché’ there were people getting Mark Whalberg mixed up with the pedophile!! In fact, they were so blasted similar, the pedophile could have played his son!
Here’s an even sadder thought… IF the daughter and the pedophile would have been cast as sister-and-brother, the movie would have STILL played out the same!! This is a classic case of missed opportunity!
If they would have cut the human crap to a third and expanded the depth of the other autobots as true soldiers in war by delivering some character depth into their psych as galactic combat veterans along with their true worries and fears, WE (the audience) would not have noticed the extended length of the movie.
Overall… I love Transformers. I love Optimus Prime and his voice. I love the basic story universe. I was VERY disappointed by this movie. I doubt that I would watch the entire thing again, but I would definitely replay the fight scene over.
Sheesh… I can’t wait until PACIFIC RIM 2!!!
Photo Credits: Google images, cinema.theiapolis.com, Industrial Light & Magic, Paramount Pictures